How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

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How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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Wanna here a joke? Dylan Shipleys penis!!!

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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The Blonde walked into a wall.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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What do you call a man having sex with his own mother. - Gross.

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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A man walks into a bar. Sup.

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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A black guy, a Jew, and a Mexican jump out of a plane. Who dies first? Well, judging by the fact that black people in general have a higher body mass, the black man most likely would smash into the ground first.

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How many republicans does it take to raise the debt ceiling? Technically, none, as the president has the right to do this based on the 14th amendment.

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Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems rhyme This doesn't.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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