Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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I like my 40's like I like my women, in ABUNDANCE.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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A blode walks into a bar, She gets her hair dyed brown and is later presumed smarter due to a the genral public being steriotipical.

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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Q : What is the similarity between me and my friend? A : We both are crazy

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What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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nock nock who's there is me u idiot we aranged this yesterday

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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