did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

What happened to the frog that broke down? It got toad.

How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This poem is getting old, I like cookies.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

You know what's funnier than 24? 25

Hitler walks into a temple..... Oh wait he died

Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, I have a gun... Get in the van!

If you can fit many clowns in a car and many mexicans in a car...how many mexican clowns will fit?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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