Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the funniest joke in the world? Written.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A priest, a rabbi and Santa walk into a bar. that's a highly coincidental situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the dog cross the street? because it saw a squirrel

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he didn't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call an blank test? an F

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What colour is chocolate? Brown.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops