Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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A guy walks in to a bar and says to the bartender "I'm fed up with all these 'guy walks into a bar' jokes on anti-joke. The bartender says "I have no idea what you're talking about".

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

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Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

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I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

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hi, my name is zack, i have a boner from the girl to my right(;

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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