What do you call a man that eats a sandwich? Hungry.

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In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

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a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

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-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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A black man goes to his dentist appointment and the doctor asks, have you brushed your teeth today laderius? the black man replies: Yes, but my name is not laderius

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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Why couldn't the blonde get pregnant? Because she was dead, and her reproductive organs had stopped functioning.

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roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock knock. Who's there? A bad joke.

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a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

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i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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Old, Asian, Woman who drive

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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Q. What is a similarly between Jewa and Pizza. A. There both baked in a over

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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Whats black and can run fast? a panther.... racist

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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