Q: GUESS WHAT IS REALLY BAD????? A: TITTY CANCER! :0

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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Why did David go swimming? Pink sock.

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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What is the most confusing day for chavs? Fathers day

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Penis

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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So a man walks into a bar and gets a drink, then a man walks up to him and tries to start a fight, the first man says, "No thanks" and walks home.

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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What's the difference between michael jackson and casey anthony? Michael jackson's dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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So a guy walks in to a bar.... and orders a beer.

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Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

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what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

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Nobody cares maddie!

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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What do you get when you cross a rusty nail and a foot? Tetanus

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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