A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

Guy1: Hey! Do you want to hear a potassium joke? Guy2: Sure! Guy1: K

What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

Your mother is so fat, that somebody should inform her of the risks of eating unhealthy foods because she could obtain life threatening diseases.

roses are red violets are blue they really are

You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

What's worse than getting in a car accident? Being turned into dust and swarmed by bees while on fire

Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

You see the love of your life. You can't say anything. She walks toward you. You can't move. She sits on you. You can't do anything. She starts crapping on you. You realize your a toilet. -Adam Chebali

What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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