Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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Hey, have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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why did CJ cry?he just ate a pie full of meat from his favorite animal.Pig

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

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Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a wanted serial killer on the run from the police

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

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man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your roommate, I forgot my keys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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