How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What does a jew to enter in a movie theater? He buys a ticket!

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Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

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A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

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what's worst then having no internet access for a year? having no facebook notifications when you finally do

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What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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Wait! hundred billions!

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Whats the differents between a red farrari and a dead baby? I dont have a red farrari in my garage;)

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Q: What happens when the Hydro goes out? A: The Hydro goes out.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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Why did the cat lick the black guy. Because the cat thought it was dirty.

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Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

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Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? To get his chemotherapy

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If I became the president of the U.S.A I would change our national animal from eagle to smeagle. Like this if you agree. By Adam Chebali

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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