An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

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What did the little boy with no arms get for cristmas? A football.

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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can the real slim shady please stand up? no. there is a slim shady in all of us, so we will all stand up.

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What did the dwarf do after he sore a mole? Nothing. dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a duck? Purple.

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Why is this the best day of 10 year old Johnny's life? His parents were killed in 9/11, and Osama Bin Laden has been found and killed. What, Too soon?

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what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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how do you know if your pleasuring a woman? who cares

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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why couldnt helen keller drive she was a woman

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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What's the difference between men and women? I really can't tell anymore, there's so many goddamn transvestites.

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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Why did Tiarnan not ride is bike to school today. Tiarnan's dead.

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what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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