Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

thumb_up thumb_down +6

14 people jump in a hole about 25 ft deep. they can't climb out because it is a straight vertical drop.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

2 * 2 * 2 * 3 * 2417

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The way I see it, you are pretty lucky I am a tough guy, the kind you like. Anyway you where really wondering if I ever refer myself as a boy? Sigh, I mean I AM A BOY! WHAT? WHAT? Savage jokes? What jokes?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So three black men walk into a bank, one of them uses the ATM, they all proceed to the exit after he is done.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how many licks did it take the boy to get to the center of a tootsie pop? he died of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops