Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

Why did the Bruins win against the Flyers? ....they had goal tending.

Yo mama's so fat that she needs substantially larger clothes than most other people

Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

A man walks into a bar

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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