A homosexual walked into a bar. He orders a beer. When he holds out his credit card, the bartender says, "We do not accept credit." Upon hearing this, the homosexual reaches into his wallet and pulls out five dollars. Because it is legal tender, the bartender takes the money and gives the homosexual the change that is due. The homosexual proceeds to drink the beer. When he is finished, he walks out of the bar. Nobody is aware of his sexual orientation.

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What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold climate. I guess this was just a waste of time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he (assuming he bears male reproductive organs) saw some corn on the other side (using the light rays refracted primarily by his cornea onto the retina) which is his staple diet as he is a herbivorous chicken. As corn is the producer of the food chain in question and the chicken is the primary consumer, a fox being the secondary and an angry farmer being the tertiary, he needs to ingest this food source in order to obtain the glucose required to produce adenosine triphosphate by the process of aerobic respiration in the mitochondria of his chicken cells. Thus, the chicken crossed the road.

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Q: What did the kid say after he told a stupid joke? A: Well they banned me from Anti-Joke!!

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

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Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

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whats the sad part of 4 negroes driving off a cliff? the car couldve fit 5

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours Stolen propety....

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ask me if im a boy are you a boy? none of your buisness.

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a piece of pizza? Because the pizza was on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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