Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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**** *** *** ****** *** ** *** ***? ***** I bet you wish you could read that joke. It was **** hilarious.

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

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why does the world spin? Chuck Norris says so

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A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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