What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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Why did the little girl fall of the cliff? Someone pushed her

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What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

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A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

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A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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Jumping out of an airplane is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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what did the african say when he got cancer? what? i don't know, he said it in african.

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What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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