I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What has two legs? Half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Steve Jobs is alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops