Patient: "Doctor, I have a strawberry stuck in my bum" Doctor: "Well, that's an awfully peculiar place to keep a strawberry. What were you thinking?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

say it ten times fast: oh

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

your sister has 1 boob thats funny

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?" Oh ya he had alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I don't believe in giraffes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you confuse a chicken? Paint yourself black and throw seeds at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats black and yellow a chinese with a bruise

thumb_up thumb_down +4

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats worse than the holocaust? i don't know, the holocaust was pretty bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops