A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

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why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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