Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?". The horse didn't understand English, so he took a shit on the floor, and left.

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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why did the girl fall of the swing someone threw a refrigerator at her

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Chris Brown can do no wrong. False he acquired several wrongs through his mistreatment of several women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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