A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

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If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

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pull my finger (farts)

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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Knock Knock ... Knock Knock The man proceeds to leave.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What do you call a women with 2 black eyes? Hopefully nothing because abuse is something that shouldn't be messed with and it is wrong.

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

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How do you know when you've ritten too many anti-jokes? When you answer your own question as a rhetorical device

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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