What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

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Stevie Wonder valentine: Roses are black, Violets are black, everything is black, I cant see shit!

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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What did he African say when he had diarrhea? Shit

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

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I'm HIV positive.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

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What's worse than a spray tan? - A spray tan of hydrochloric acid.

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

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whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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Why was the redneck so racist? Because he had a severe dislike for the black community.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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