Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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An American, a Canadian, and a Scottish man died in a horrible car accident. Their story was used as a lesson to keep teenagers from drunk driving.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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What's black and white and red all over? A seriously infected scab.

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What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

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Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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A boy kills DEER & cooks it & doesn't tell friends what it is. He gives a clue "Its what my girlfriend calls Me!..

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why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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