There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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-What do you say to a woman with Two Black eyes?. -Are you really that dumb to leave the kitchen twice -Elder High School

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

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What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

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Four blondes are driving to Disney World. When they are in Florida, there is a sign that says "Disney left" Upset, they make a u-turn and go home.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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What did the old man say? Im old

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

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A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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