do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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Man walks into a bar, Has a few drinks and goes home.

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

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Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

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A man died.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Nothing, those two events are mutually exclusive of each other.

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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Why Did The Black Man Cry? KFC Went Bankrupt!

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

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Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

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"I see!" said the blind man, as he picked up a saw and hammer.

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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Why was the Jewish man celebrating cinco de mayo? Because he likes other cultures and Mexican food Except pork

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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What did the comedian say when he fell off the cliff? Nothing; dead beings are incapable of performing actions.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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