Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "No." "Good. Tobacco causes cancer."

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? With a blindfold

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what did one dinosaur say to the other? "rawr"

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your stupid.

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YEAH WELL SMELL YOUR BREATH U BELLEND

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

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69

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Yesterday I saw a blind man walking down the street, I asked if he needed help and he said "I'm fine thanks." Later on I saw a deaf man walking down the street and asked if he needed help. He didn't hear me, he then fell off the curb and was hit by a car.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

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How do prevent a black man from robbing your house? Lock you doors and perhaps get an up-to-date security system.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped six's mother

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There is a newly wed couple, a biker and his biker lady friends. The newly wed man says to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey". One of the biker chicks looks over. Five minutes later the man says to his wife, "Pass the sugar, sugar". They biker chick looks back at them and then asks the biker man, "Why don't you treat us like that?" " You know your right. Pass the bacon... lovely". And from that day on the bikers lived in peace and harmony.

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Nah Nero, nothing wrong here, I mean I am down to earth, you made me realize that, and sincerely you are my best friend, I mean I hang out with geeks all day, and yeah I might be a bit nerdy or even geeky myself, but not like this, I want to be more like you, spend time with you, not playing dungeon and dragons telling myself I am some warrior princess... I thought playing that crap was gonna get funnier but thats not true the least. What I am trying to say is that I look up to you, what you achieved, and still do, while if you look at me, I am literally several grades below you, so yeah, you are looking down at me. And yeah, I might be falling in love with you to be honest, but I know you have a wife and I am the jealous insecure kind, so I would not want to share you with anyone in fear of losing you if you where my husband, but I dont love you for what I want you to be, I love you for who you are. And yeah I know it must be awkward hearing me type my heart out here, but if you want to know me for who I truly am, as sincere as you are, you deserve it. And no, you are not blunt, you are what people would call "honest to a fault", and I adore that side of you, I mean if I want to hear what people think they want me to hear, I ask anyone else, but you, you are different, you are honest to death, and that makes me feel safe and trust you when you say things, I mean you are a free spirit, if you thought I was ugly you would have told me, and that would have been okay, if it where you actually. So I am sorry if I sound weird or desperate or something, its just whats inside of me right now.

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What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Doctor: Yes. Patient: I think I'm a moth! Doctor: You don't need a doctor, you need Mental help. Patient: Yes I know. Doctor: Then why are you here? Patient: The light was on.

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What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops