roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

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Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

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A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

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What happens when you poke a ghost that is on the edge of a building?? Ghost aren't real, so therefor you will fall of the building and die????

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Houlocaust. What's worse than the Houlocaust? Nothing, the Haulocaust was one of the most horrible instances of inhumanity in recorded history.

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Well many scientists have theorized that a giant meteor hit the earth causing the extinction of most living things. Also if your christian : Dinosaurs never existed, evolution is the devils work, science is not the answer to the world's problems. Darwin was a foolish man, and thats that.

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are you gay does your mom know

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what do you call a black man in a car? -a person who passed his drivers test

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wake n shake = wake up and masterbate to a picture of drew e mom o.O

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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knock knock who's there me i kill you

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Joke- Blah Blah Blah, punch line -LOL -Shut the hell up

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How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

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Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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What do we want? Equal rights for people with Tourette's Syndrome. When do we want them? Fuck!

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Hi my names Sarah and I love baby's. I don't think I could eat a whole one though

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

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Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

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Knock! Knock! "It's open!"

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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