How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

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My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red violets are blue I fucked your mom now im about to fuck you to.

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Why was the fat kid the last one to lunch? He'd had lead bricks stapled to his ankles by the skinny kids.

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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what draws the line between sex and rape? a pen

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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There is a bus full of puppies and babies with a plane flying above it carrying 2 tons of explosives. The Bus arrives safely at its destination.

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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what's worse than getting cancer.........nothing cancer is a pretty bad thing

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wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

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Dumbledore dies.

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Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

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what do you call a unicorn crossing a bridge? nothing there fake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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