what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

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why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender says ouch.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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why did the asian wearing a sombrero buy orange juice at 2am? because hes trying to stay sober and do away with alcohol for good because its ruining his family and he wants to be a good father and husband.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

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When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

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why did they make a new iphone? because individuals like to be connected to local and world wide media so they can stay in touch with all news, friends and family.

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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

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What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

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I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

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Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

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I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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Hey can you turn Tmartn upI can't hear him

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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