A baby seal walks into a club.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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A Duck walks into a bar.

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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Sex

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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how do you make Chuck Norris laugh? tell him an anti-joke.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you so much That is a an example of the 2nd person and the identification of plants and their colors

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Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

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How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

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What's worse than a baby falling? A baby fall in a pit of tar What did the baby say on the way down? "weeeeeee"

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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