What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

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What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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whats the diffrence between madeline macan and a submarine? there isnt one there both at the bottom of the sea and full of seaman

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

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The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

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How do you make a clown frown Throw an axe at his face.

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What did the Chicken say to the Turkey Nothing, Chickens don't talk.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 took sexual advantage of 9.

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whats white and sticky glue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops