What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

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Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

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Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

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Why did the kid fall off is bike? He was hit by a bus.

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There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

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Nowadays, aviation is the most secure means of conveyance in the world, but paragliding is not.

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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Why was the boy so tired? He had to carry his moms dead body up the stairs.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim in already in america.

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert. It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert who? Mam, he was in an accident. Could you open the door please?

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How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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