oh whatever donald trump's not going to be president. stop pretending he is

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A Chinese man, an Italian man and a French man are sitting in a plane. They arrive in Los Angeles with a 23 minute delay due to atmospheric conditions

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? To reach his desired destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the baby cross the road? Because I took a swing at it with a golf club.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops