What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

What's Gay and has a penis? Justin Bieber, I lied about the penis

Do you know what killed the cat? Feline AIDS

Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

Whats green and smells like grass? Grass scented air freshener, in a green colored can.

How you know when dislextic

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? we will never know he never opened it

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

A blind man walks into a bar----b wire

What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

A chicken walks into a barn.

Why is Jordan Abu Arabian ? Because his mom is!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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