Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's big fat and ugly? A monster

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

thumb_up thumb_down +19

your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q) What's worse than getting dumped by text? A) Getting hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops