A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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96

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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How do you get an elephant in the fridge in three moves open the door, put it in, close the door How do you put an giraffe in the fridge in four moves open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe in, and close the door

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

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A: Why is that boy on the ground? B: He fell. A: Why did he fall? B: He tripped. A: Why did he trip? B: I tripped him. A: Why did you... B: BECAUSE I WANTED TO!

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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Did you just fall from heaven? If not I'm gonna beat the shit out of you

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jordan godfrey is good looking lolololol

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

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Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Inform her that she is an illegitimate child resulting from a vicious, torturous rape and that her mother will never truly love her.

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Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

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I remember the last words my Grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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