A man walks into the bar and ask the bartender for a shot of vodka. He drinks the vodka.

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Want to burn 3000 calories in under 5 MINUTES? Take a store bought pizza and put it in the over for as long as you want. Just watch the calories burn away in a puff of smoke!

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

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What starts with S and end in H-I-T? shit.

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Donald Trump

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A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she was clumsy. Nevertheless the accident was minor and she did not injure the arms that she had.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl who? Quetzalcóatl, Mayan name Kukulcán, (from Nahuatl quetzalli, “tail feather of the quetzal bird [Pharomachrus mocinno],” and coatl, “snake”), the Feathered Serpent, one of the major deities of the ancient Mexican pantheon. Oh... hi.

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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What did the one alcoholic say to the other? We are both alcoholics

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

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What types of animals are the most dangerous? Dangerous ones.

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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cory

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Have you tried african food? No. Neither have they!

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Jordan is pregant

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Knock Knock Who's there

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Your mother lives so loosely that she has several terminal diseases and only has 3 weeks to live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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