It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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A man and a woman have drunk, unprotected sex, and 9 months later, they have a beautiful baby girl. What did they call her? An accident.

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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knock knock who's there? hope

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Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

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What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

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What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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How do you get Pikachu on a Bus? Pikachu Is A Fictional Charecter.

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12 niqqa 12.

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Yo momma is so fat when she sat on the i pod she made the i pad!

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yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

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A woman walks into a bar.

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Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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Why do women live longer? Because they work weaker.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops