what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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My Butthole.

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

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* two sisters are making yo mama jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

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What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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A man invented a time machine that didn't work. Because he wasn't a scientist, he was an ice cream man.

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Why did the man sit on the chair? Because he was tired of standing

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

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Why did little Susie Fall in the well? She had downs.

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What do you call a black stormtrooper. What ever his name happens to be.

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Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

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Hi, this is luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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anti joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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So, a screw driver walks into a bar, and the bar tender sais "Hey Screw Driver" we have a drink named after you" the screw driver goes, "Really? You have a drink named Bob"

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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