What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

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what did the bannana say to the milk carton. nothing bannanas cant talk and their on the other side of the store

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

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Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

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Golf.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

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What does a fish and a truck have in common? Nothing. One is a fish & one is a truck.

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How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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THis guy went into the bathroom with a girl in the middle of party and they started having sex but then the guy has to pee so he does... and then he leaves the bathroom and goes back to the party

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A black man is escorted into a prison. He's the new warden, and he's been shown to his office.

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Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

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Beka has AIDS

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What's worse then AIDS? Chad Wolbert

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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