Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

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A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" "It's Mr. Johnson, your next door neighbor." "Come on in."

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Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, and Chris Brown all walk into a bar. I don't know what the punchline is, but I'm pretty sure the cops are there.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What do you can a boy with no arms and no legs? Names!

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Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

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Why did Darren Wilson quick scope Michael Brown? Because he was being attacked, racism is wrong

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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MILLERS FUNNY LIKE A JEW

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wow, I screwed up, Give me head.

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What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a whore.

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What is the difference between a bitch and your ex-girlfriend? First of all, they are two different types of mammals. Second, dogs don't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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