Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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What did the black kid get for christmas?? Your tv

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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why did the Cow die....? He didnt!!!!

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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Roses Are Red Violits Are Blue Screw it RUN!!

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Wolfjob.

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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why did the dog cross the street? because it saw a squirrel

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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What do you do at a club? You club.

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

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Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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lol i'm going to hell for laughing at this shit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops