Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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I like to slap biitches, I like to slap hoes

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What's fun and challenging? Writing an anti-joke.

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A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

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Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

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Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

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I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

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What do you call a man with ADHD ? A man with ADHD.

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Yo momma so fat her pancreas doesn't work anymore.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

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Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

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Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

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What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

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What do you get when you rub 2 redheads together? Fire.

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

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Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the world. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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