How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

Your momma's so dumb, she has below average IQ.

Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

Andoni was here

If you were a pie I'd eat you

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

What did the business man say to the homeless person? Get a job

What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

What is the difference between a dog and God? A dog is physical living creature while God is a supernatural being.

What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

"Honey im home!" but his honey was dead on the floor along with his 3 kids.

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes

knock knock whos there boo boo who why are you sad my wife has cancer

if you don't like this you're gay

I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

Roses are gray Violets are gray Pansies are gray Daffodils are gray I am a dog :)

Why did the chicken cross the road? They had a sale on dresses on the other side.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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