A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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Where does a king keep his armies? In his sleevies

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What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

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Why Did The Black Man Cry? KFC Went Bankrupt!

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Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Cos he was out standing in his field!

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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LO AND BEHOLD!

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Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

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Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

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a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

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a cop wrote most of these anti-jokes O.o

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I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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Your momma is so ugly she gave freedy krooger nightmares!

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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