Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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