how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He stepped on a piece of a shattered bottle from a bar fight. Don't worry, though, it was just a little cut and he felt fine after a few beers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

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Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

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A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? You've already seen this joke at least SIXTY TIMES on this website, so you already know.

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What did the man do after he got in his car with out his keys? He started it up and drove Away

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What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

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so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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What did he African say when he had diarrhea? Shit

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I'm at my grandmothers house right now

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What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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What's grey and can't swim? A castle.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at the piano? Because he is dead.

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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