Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

blargen fa-diddle nachen!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

There was a Indain and cowboy hunting together. the Indian put his ear down to the gound and said "buffulo come". The cowboy said he didnt see anything when the Indian said, "its Sticky!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

noah is a scrub jungle

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops