See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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sometimes when im bored i dress in white pour water on the ground and roll around in it and pretend im a papertowel

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minorities.....

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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Why does 1 + 1 = 2? ....seriously P

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I once saw a picture of a man who was bloodily murdered with his testicles replacing his eyes. then i had a nightmare, that was completely unrelated

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Child: Hey mom can i go to the store with you? Mom: no son, i'm not really going to the store. I'm cheating on your father.

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What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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