roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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bangers and mash?

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why can stevie wonder drive? He's blind

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

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Q: How do you stop a skunk from smelling? A: Lethally inject it.

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What is a light shade of beige? My bedroom wall.

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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no really what are ur names?

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What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

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Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

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women's rights

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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A plane crashed in the border of mexico and USA. Where do you bury the survivors? tell me in the thing bellow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops