Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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Two peanuts walk down the street. One was a salted.

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

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How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

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sky's sty

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How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

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Your mother is so fat she sometimes eats a normal sized portion of food and does not feel satisfied

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

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What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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