Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

wanna here a joke? you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who was the best Call of Duty World at War Player? A: Hitler he had 6 million kills and only 1 death

thumb_up thumb_down -5

NO ONE LIKES RANGAS

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock Whose there? 4

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the fart say to the butt........bye

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When life gives you cancer, make cancerade.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the Chinese guy say to the black guy? Nothing, the black guy dosen't speak chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What would happen if RAINN Wilson, the actor, married Michael MANN, the director? They'd probably be arrested; 2 men can't get married in California anymore (thanks a lot, Utah)!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your mom is so old, I am surprised she can still own a house and function on her own.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why does Timmy Teblow love penis? Logan Cole made him do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops