There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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Whats the diffrence between a white and a black guy? one of them is black

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why did the black guy die? cancer

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What do you call a black man with a small penis? Aids free

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What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

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Yo mama looks so much like a cardboard box, my kindergarten class graduated.

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What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

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Why did the blonde ask the doctor if she should get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anal surgery is the only solution.

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A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

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Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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Whats Stupider than john? Nothing.. he's certifiably retarded

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops