Pianos.

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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38 studio's new game... Finance City

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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willam dafoe

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Random link time! http://www.booksie.com/thrillers/novel/declan_mckimm/pure-evil

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A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

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''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

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the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

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What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

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Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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