Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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G

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops